This post may seem out of place. I haven’t blogged for months and a lot has changed since I last put words on this little website of mine. I’m not quite comfortable going into everything that’s happened so publicly, and I’ll always keep certain elements to myself, but I want to reignite this space and it felt wrong to just dive into another post about my latest fitness adventures and experiences.
Last time I wrote a post I was just about to start a new job in the city. It’s now been 6 months and I couldn’t be happier in my role and how it’s developed. My personal life, on the other hand, has taken somewhat of a u-turn.
Everyone deals with life changes differently. I’ve always had a bit of a bull-in-a-china-shop approach to life – I tackle challenges head on and throw myself into new experiences and events, and I always have done. It’s a coping mechanism as much as something I take pride in. Although there’s a rebellious streak in me and I can be a little self-destructive at times. Sometimes, perhaps now more than ever, I have to question if it’s cause or effect, but it’s part of me and I can’t change that about myself. When the shit hits the fan I can be selfish and careless. Or carefree. There’s a subtle difference perhaps. But that doesn’t mean I don’t over analyse everything or worry deep down. And it certainly doesn’t mean I’m not hurting. I just don’t like playing the victim and I’ll always put a brave face on.
I don’t intend to be cryptic, but despite my choice to publicise a large chunk of my life in this forum I’m still a relatively private person. I guess I’m venting, and a lot of this probably won’t make much sense, but if you’re reading this then maybe just think of this post as my bridging the gap – the chasm between where I was in January 2017, and where I am now – approaching 31 and taking a different path in life.
I have more challenges and changes yet to come. Things will probably get a little more shitty. But I know I’m capable and strong enough to take whatever comes my way. People always say how important friends are in times of difficulty, and I feel very lucky to be able to say that I have an incredible support network of friends and family who are a huge part of how I’m able to feel positive and strong about how things will unfold. This blog isn’t the place to thank them, and I hope I’ve been able to express that enough separately to this post.
I know those of you who read this blog do so because I write about fitness and maybe this post will seem a little self-indulgent, but I couldn’t just start writing after a 6 month hiatus without putting something out there in an attempt to explain the break. I’ll be surprised if many of you even read this far, but if you have, thank you.
In terms of what I’ve been up to from a fitness point of view… since I last posted I’ve taken up a new sport in rowing. I’ll touch on that more separately, but I’ll go as far as to say it’s given me a new perspective on fitness and has challenged me in ways that I’d never considered. In the short time I’ve been rowing I’ve met some really great people and potentially found a sport that could give me the push I need to be a true competitive “athlete” and team player.
I had about 5 weeks away from CrossFit – ironically just after returning from an amazing trip with Reebok to the CrossFit Games Meridian Regionals. I came away feeling so motivated that I thought nothing could stop me… but then life happened. I’m now back at the box and hoping it will be the foundation of my sporting life, rather than the thing that my fitness revolves around. I’ll never perform at a competitive level in CrossFit, but I hope that it will be the sport that will keep me fit and strong enough to take on the new challenges that I love to throw myself into. For example, I’ve also (very) recently started rock climbing, something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.
I was going to finish this post with an apology for going off topic from the general theme of the blog, but then I remembered that no one sets the rules on what I publish other than me! So actually I’m just going to sign off with the positive realisation that life is all about finding what makes you happy in yourself, and never letting go of who you are. Just do you.
(Old) Photos by Will Patrick.